


Alice and Marisa's Worst First Date

by cheinsaw



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bears, Camping, Developing Relationship, F/F, Love Confessions, a lot of swearing, small gay teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 03:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2906819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheinsaw/pseuds/cheinsaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A slightly misguided birthday gift from Shinki finds Marisa and Alice camping alone in the woods. However, they soon find themselves countering not only their own teenage emotions, but also a highly unwelcome campground guest!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alice and Marisa's Worst First Date

**Author's Note:**

> i went camping exactly once, when i was 14. i hated it. any misrepresentations of the true camping experience are due to my foggy memories and my family's unwillingness to provide detailed accounts of what camping is actually like.  
> written as a request for tumblr user kogasa that got WAY OUT OF HAND. "unbearable" joke courtesy of ao3 user unmovinggreatlibrary. you're both fired.

It was Alice's idea. Most things that turn out badly are Alice's ideas. Of course, Marisa knows that in Alice's opinion most things that turn out badly are Marisa's ideas. Doesn't really matter. But if they survive Marisa's gonna rub it in her face for weeks.

* * *

"My mother is offering to pay for a campground site for a few days for my birthday," Alice says in a hushed voice, crackling and fuzzy over the phone. Marisa can tell Alice is probably in her room with her head under the duvet, the lights off and the door shut. "I mean, I had wanted to visit a natural site, but I'd rather not be alone in the woods with her."

"Yeah?" Marisa says, cradling her trailer's ancient phone against her shoulder as she stirs up her dinner of microwaved leftovers. "You don't really seem like the camping type. Whaddaya want me to do, ambush Shinki?"

"No, no," Alice says. "I'm inviting you. Please. If you come, she'll leave me alone. We have a tent we've never used, so..."

Marisa shovels a spoonful of mac and cheese into her mouth, chewing it thoughtfully before answering. "Yeah. That'd be kinda cool, actually. How long would we be staying?"

"Just a few days. Over a weekend, probably. But I'm sure she'd be willing to let us go for more if you wanted."

"Oh, yeah, you know me, made to live in the middle of the woods."

"Was that sarcasm?" Alice asks.

"Heh. Maybe."

The date is set, the plans are arranged, and soon enough Marisa's sitting on her mobile home's front steps with a duffel bag with a weekend's supply of clothes and other necessities, waiting for Alice to come and pick her up. It's a nice day, one of the true first of summer, and Marisa finds herself getting kind of sleepy basking in the warm sun. If it weren't for the younger kids in the trailer park running around and screaming, she could probably take a nap right there. She's considering getting some earplugs and lying down in the grass when Alice's car, much nicer than any of the cars parked haphazardly around the lot, comes rolling in.

Marisa had been expecting a weekend chilling in a tent with Alice and Alice's slightly overwhelming force of a mother. So she's surprised to see no sign of Shinki in the passenger seat or lurking anywhere in the back. "Yo! Where's your mom?"

Alice pops the trunk open from the driver's seat, then answers, hopping out of the car. "I told you she'd leave me alone if you came."

"Yeah, but, I mean, I thought she was gonna supervise us or somethin'."

"I'm eighteen now," Alice huffs. "Besides, she did that whole 'Oh, you two girls have fun together, I remember when I was young' routine."

"Wow. Lucky break. Hey, you're wearing jeans!"

Alice looks down as if she's forgotten. "Oh... Yeah, I am."

"Heh. Looks cute. You're always dressed up like a doll, so... sometimes I kinda forget you're a real kid, y'know?"

"I'm older than you," Alice says primly. "Now, get in the car."

Marisa rolls her eyes, smiling. A weekend with no Shinki is, most likely, going to be infinitely better than a weekend with Shinki could be. She throws her duffel bag into the trunk next to what she assumes is the tent, then hops into the passenger seat with her trademark grin on her face.

"We got food?"

"Yes, we do. Most of it is in that cooler in the back," Alice says, pivoting her car out of the trailer park's bumpy terrain and back onto the pavement. "But I know how you love your snacks, so I convinced my mother to buy several bags of chips."

"Sick," Marisa says, sliding her flip-flops off and kicking her feet up on the dashboard. "This is gonna be the best camping trip _ever_."

"Don't do that," Alice says, without taking her eyes off the road.

 

It takes an hour to get to the campground, a little park at the base of a mountain. Marisa spends the entire time bantering to herself as usual, with Alice occasionally piping in. For the last fifteen minutes or so, it's quiet, with Marisa having run out of things to really talk about. So of course, she perks up excitedly when Alice finally speaks.

"We're here. Oh, look, it even has showers. That's nice."

"Hey. I thought camping meant you were supposed to like, live off the land, bathe in the river or some shit."

"Not today," Alice says, and turns the car next to the check-in station.

After Alice has confirmed their reservation, they have to hike around the area on foot to find themselves a suitable campsite. There are clearly marked paths between the tall trees, but everything looks basically the same to Marisa. Alice stops to inspect each marked campsite, but none of them seem to meet her high standards for the first twenty minutes of wandering.

"This one looks good," Alice finally says.

"You sure 'bout that? They all look the same."

"Well, fine. You find a better one then. Marisa."

"I just said they all look the same, not that this one sucks."

Alice rolls her eyes. "Honestly, I don't know why I put up with you."

"You love me."

"Oh, yes, that must be it. How about you go get our supplies while I check in with the staff again?"

"By myself? C'mon, Alice, I'm only, like, a teenager. I'm a _minor_."

"If you can lift me, you can carry a cooler and a suitcase," Alice reminds her. "I'll get the tent and my own bags if it makes you feel better."

"Aaaaaaaliiiiiiiice..."

Alice just walks off, ignoring her. Typical. Marisa knows she's not actually angry, though: if she were, she'd be much colder. Marisa huffs softly, then sets out for the parking lot.

Once she's left alone with her thoughts, though, she has to admit it's kind of nice. The woods are alive, each tree seeming to breathe in time, and there's no shortage of birds calling out or small animals rustling around in the foliage. She even finds that if she squints over to the east she can kind of see a lake, or at least a pond, glittering in the afternoon sun. Maybe she can impress Alice and catch some fish with her bare hands or something. Not that Alice would even appreciate it.

Marisa easily finds the car and begins her walk back up to the campsite the way she came, her duffel bag over her shoulder and the rolled-up, bagged tent in her arms.

 

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Alice asks coyly, dropping the cooler at her feet. "Everything's up here now. No need to go back to the car until we're leaving."

"Sick. Now what?"

"We have to pitch the tent."

"Okay. No problem. My family was made to live in tents. I know all about tents."

"I find that hard to believe."

"No different than my trailer, really."

Alice just raises an eyebrow. Marisa's lying through her teeth, and they both know it, but Marisa continues, almost teasingly. "Fine, watch me. I'll set this thing up and all the girls in a five mile radius will be falling at my feet."

Alice snorts, but in a dignified way. "Okay. Go for it, then. I'm looking forward to seeing your expert tent-pitching skills."

Marisa kneels down and pulls the rolled-up canvas out of its bag, laying it on the ground next to what are probably its stakes. Unsure of what to do next, she cautiously unrolls the tent, spreading it out as far as it will go.

Marisa and Alice both stand there, staring at the tent on the ground.

"Well?" Alice says.

"I got this, I got this," Marisa insists, reaching out to touch the tent as if it's a wild animal. She can see that it has poles inside, which are probably meant to hold the thing up, but she doesn't have the slightest clue how. She settles for the hands-on approach, kneeling down and sticking her head inside the tent's opening.

It's not much better. The poles, each at one corner, are hard to see inside the canvas covering her. When she reaches out for one and tries to make it stand up, it stubbornly springs back. "Fuck." She tries again, holding it with both hands. No such luck. "Shit!" She decides to tackle it from the other end, and wriggles her entire body into the tent. One more time, she promises herself. The pole not only refuses to stand up, it also springs back to smack her directly in the face.

"Son of a dick!" Marisa screams, giving the side of the tent a punch for good measure.

"Yes, very impressive," Alice smirks. Through the tent, Marisa can see her kneel down. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, 'm fine, just... Fuck. Hit me in the face."

"Um, is everything okay up here?" someone calls from the edge of the clearing.

"Yeah!" Marisa yells at the same time as Alice looks over her shoulder and sadly says "No."

"Do you need any help?"

"No," Marisa groans, extracting herself from the mess of canvas entangling her. The owner of the voice is an energetic-looking woman in full hiking gear and girlish twin red braids.

"Hey," the redhead says. "I'm Rin. My family and I are camping a few hundred yards that way. I saw you come in and then I heard yelling and I thought I'd offer my help, y'know?"

"Oh, um, thank you," Alice says. "My name's Alice."

"Hey. I know how to pitch a frickin' tent," Marisa grumbles.

"Not from the looks of things!" Rin says. "Sorry, but even if you got it to stand up right there, it'd be at an angle. Not great to sleep in, and easy to tip over. You want it on flat ground with no sticks or rocks in the way. And you should really have a tarp under it."

"Well, there you have it," Alice says. " _Marisa_."

"I know," Marisa grumbles, defeated.

Rin, as strangely imposing as she is, actually makes setting up the tent easy, not that Marisa would ever admit it to Alice. She snaps the tent's poles together with ease, making it stand up straight, and even offers to loan them a spare tarp before she seems to remember her family didn't bring one. She's telling Marisa and Alice all about the surrounding areas and where the best places to hunt are when a worried voice rings through the trees. "Oriiiiin, where are you?"

"I'm right here, Okuu," Rin yells. "I'm helping pitch a tent."

"Ohhh. I'll help!" Quick as a flash, a tall girl in hiking gear nearly identical to Rin's – save for a patch featuring a small radiation warning sign sewn haphazardly onto her vest – emerges from the trees and makes her way to Rin's side. "Hi. I'm Utsuho, you can call me Okuu. Who're you?"

"I'm Alice, and this is Marisa."

"Nice to meet you!" Utsuho crows.

"Okuu, we need to stake this thing," Rin says.

"I'm on it!" Without asking, she grabs two of the stakes and expertly drives one into the ground, then steps down hard on it, securing one corner of the tent.

"I meant... oh, Okuu, I wanted to show them. Is this your first time camping?" she asks, looking at Alice and Marisa.

"Yes," Alice says. At the same time, Marisa says, "I live in a trailer. I camp every frickin' day."

"Your trailer has been in the same place for twenty years."

"Dammit, Alice, at least lemme sound cool."

"It's no problem!" Rin says. "I wouldn't have bought it anyway."

Marisa snorts. May as well laugh about it, if she's been caught in her lies.

Rin and Utsuho are expert campers, making the process of raising the tent seem easy. They show Marisa how to plant the stakes, and by the last one she's got it down perfectly. Rin also makes sure to show her how the poles of the tent are supposed to go, so Marisa will know "for next time, y'know?"

Alice just watches on from the sidelines. "Um, can we get you anything in return?" she asks once Rin pronounces the tent finished. "We don't have much with us, but if there's anything we can do for you..."

Rin waves her hand. "It's not a problem!"

"Yeah, Orin likes to help out, she does it all the time."

"You can repay us by letting Okuu start your campfire tonight..."

Utsuho's eyes go big. "Can I?!"

"I was joking, Okuu," Rin says gently.

"Campfire..." Alice says, glancing at the lengthening shadows falling by her feet. "We don't have any wood."

"Yeah, we should get on that," Marisa agrees. "Nice meeting you, though. Thanks for helpin' us out."

"Anytime!" Rin says. "We're camping down that way, so if you need anything else, just call, okay?" She points, and then she and Utsuho take their leave, Rin calmly navigating through the foliage while Utsuho barrels down the path like a little kid.

"They were nice," Alice says quietly.

"They were pretty weird."

"Says the girl wearing a 'Ball Til You Fall' shirt. At least the tent's up."

"Hey. I thought you were done throwin' shade at my clothes."

"Anyway, we need firewood." Alice is the crown princess of not-so-subtly changing the subject. "I read that birch was the best, since it burns easily, but we can probably use any kind of sticks or bark for kindling as long as they aren't wet."

"Wow. Since when are you the wilderness expert?"

"Since last night, when I looked up useful camping information."

"You don't need that, you've got me. One time I made a trash can fire in middle school."

"That's wonderful, but we're going to find some birch."

 

After the ordeal with the tent, making the campfire is comparatively child's play. Alice gathers the kindling while Marisa trails behind her, carrying a bundle of branches and sticks in her arms. Alice insists on picking up extra, just in case, which leaves Marisa with plenty of things to groan about. It turns out alright, though, when Marisa finally gets to set the fire once the sun is more than halfway set.

"Holy shit, Alice, did you see?" she cries. "It just went straight up, like, fwoooosh."

"I did," Alice replies. "It'd be in your best interest to keep it in check so the fire doesn't make its way to our tent."

"Hey. I'm on it. Are we gonna cook on this thing?"

Alice doesn't respond, just crosses the clearing, over to where she stashed the cooler. "You are," she finally says. "I brought a salad for myself. And for you--" Alice throws a small, heavy cardboard box in Marisa's direction.

Marisa inspects the label. "Wieners! You got me wieners," she yells. "I love you, Alice!"

"You'll have to find some sticks to cook them on, but I figured you'd want hot dogs roasted over a fire, since they're a typical camping experience."

"Gonna fuckin' sharpen a stick just for this. Oh my god."

"You sound excited," Alice says with a smile.

Marisa is. She has to spear the hot dog on two sticks and hold it above the flames, but before long it's grilled to perfection, and Marisa happily eats it right off its branches. "'S good!"

"Don't you want a bun?" Alice asks, watching Marisa devour the thing bite by bite. "We have some in the bag with the chips..."

"Nah, it's cool," Marisa says, popping the last piece into her mouth. "Gonna do another one now."

Alice just shakes her head. "Really, Marisa. I don't know why I'm still surprised at this point."

While Marisa's cooking her third hot dog while also attempting to eat a bun in one bite, she starts to shift uncomfortably. "My god, my ass hurts. Didn't you bring, like, pillows or something?"

"No. And don't talk with your mouth full."

"Seriously? I woulda thought you of all people would bring 'em." She holds the now-cooked hot dog out to Alice. "Whatever. Wiener?"

"You know I don't eat meat," Alice huffs.

"You eat fish. Same thing."

"No, it isn't. It's a very different thing. Besides, you don't even know what's in those hot dogs."

"Yep. Living on the edge." Marisa maneuvers the hot dog off its sticks and into a bun.

Alice snickers. "Too much."

Once Marisa's had her fill of hot dogs and teasing Alice, she leans back on the ground, the fire flickering out by her feet. "Oh, damn. Alice, look, look at the sky."

Alice tilts her head. "Oh, you're right," she says softly. Up beyond the trees, the sky is opened up, hundreds of tiny stars twinkling against soft blue. "That's really nice."

Marisa's face cracks into a genuine grin once more. "Yeah. Yeah, it is."

* * *

 

Marisa wakes to birds chattering, sun shining, and Alice fumbling around inside the tent. Squinting, Marisa can see that her hair is wet, and her shoulders, exposed by the tank top she's wearing, are freckled. Cute. Marisa's never noticed before.

"What time is it?" she slurs, yawning.

"Almost eleven. You sleep so much," Alice remarks. "Time to get up."

Marisa groans and tries to bury herself back in her sleeping bag. "Come _on_ , Alice."

"Oh, no you don't," Alice says, pulling the covers back. "Go take a shower."

"Uuuughhhh. Didn't bring my shower shit."

"Use mine, I don't mind."

"I'll smell all fruity!"

"Better than smelling like a garbage disposal. Go take a shower," Alice says again, shoving a plastic bag of toiletries into Marisa's hands. "Oh, and wear your flip-flops, I don't want you to catch a fungus from the floors."

"Comforting!" Marisa says, grabbing whatever clean clothes she can find before she stumbles, yawning, out of the tent.

The showers are down near the check-in desk, at the edge of the parking lot. Marisa already knows the way, since the little building is also the only real bathroom in the entire park, and Alice insisted on them both using it so as not to "act like some kind of wild animal". Marisa smiles wryly whenever she thinks about it. Alice is really, really not the kind of person who can handle being out in the forest on her own. If she were ever stranded somewhere, she'd probably die. The girl won't even eat a frickin' hot dog.

The water in the showers is just lukewarm, making Marisa shudder slightly. What's worse, though, is Alice's collection of ten million assorted bath products. Marisa doesn't even know what half of them are. She stands there under the water, sorting through the bag with a puzzled expression. _What the hell is the difference between exfoliating and regular body wash?_ she wonders. Eventually she just decides to find the shampoo and use that, but to her dismay, the bottle advertises that the formula is "designed to give flat hair a volume boost!"

Marisa doesn't need any more "volume" in her thick, curly hair. _Oh, well_ , she sighs internally, and decides it can't do too much damage.

It's always felt nice to Marisa to be outdoors under the bright, warm sun with her hair wet and her skin fresh from the shower. It's another beautiful day, and she walks back to the campground with purpose. In the shower, she had an idea, a great idea, and she's almost bursting with anticipation.

"Hey, Alice. You wanna go take a walk?"

Alice looks confused for a second, looking up from the novel she brought with her. "Oh, of course. You aren't planning anything strange, are you?"

"Nah, just thought it'd be nice. It's really beautiful out here."

"Did you inhale any of my bath soaps?"

"What the hell, no! You sayin' it's strange for me to appreciate the natural environment? That's sick, Alice. My mom is a gardener, she'll never let you stay over again if she hears you said that."

Alice exhales. "I just get concerned. Usually when you want to go out somewhere with no warning, you're trying to play a prank, shoplift, or set something on fire."

Marisa holds her hands up. "No fire. I promise."

"No pranks, either?"

"No pranks."

Alice stands up, tucking her book back inside the tent. "Okay. Lead the way, nature warrior."

The forest, being a popular camping spot, has a few well-worn trails and paths. Marisa decides to just go with her instinct and leads Alice wherever she feels like, and to her surprise, Alice happily follows.

Walking alongside her, Marisa is suddenly struck with the urge to hold Alice's hand, to twirl her around as if she's a princess. She immediately dismisses the idea. _Wow, that's pretty fuckin' gay, she thinks to herself._ It is not the first of her pretty fuckin' gay thoughts about Alice, and probably not her last. She usually pays them no attention, or laughs it off. Alice definitely doesn't swing that way, and even if she did, there's no way she'd want to waste any more of her time on Marisa. It's just the way things are.

 

By the time twilight falls again, they're back by their tent, their dinner has already been eaten, and Marisa is trying to roast Doritos to no avail. "D'you think this is what normal people do on camping trips?"

"Roast chips? No."

"Not the chips. Oh, dammit," Marisa swears as her Dorito falls out of its careful placement on the branch and lands on the smoldering ashes, the only remains of the short-lived fire. "I meant, like, don't people usually go fishing or like, hunt deer or something?"

"I don't think that's necessarily true. I think all you need to do is just be outdoors, and appreciate what's around you."

"I guess," Marisa says. The stars are just starting to come out, and it makes Marisa feel kind of homesick. Not for her trailer, but for a place it feels like she's never been, and might not ever be.

"We should rest early," Alice says, jolting Marisa out of her thoughts. "We have to be out of here by noon tomorrow, which means you can't just sleep as long as you want. How long will it take you to get up and pack?"

Marisa looks up, studying the way the trees look silhouetted against the darkening sky. "Like an hour, hour and a half."

"Okay. I'll wake you up around nine."

"Aliiiiiiiice. No fair. Eleven."

"Nine-thirty."

"...Ten," Marisa bargains.

"Ten," Alice agrees. "That still means you need to get some rest. Let's go to bed, okay?"

"Alright, alright."

Marisa waits dutifully while Alice changes into her pajamas inside the tent. The stars really are so nice out here, away from all the lights of the cities and towns back home. She can see everything. Marisa's never really been interested in space, but the stars feel so special right now.

"Do you need to get changed?" Alice asks, poking her head out of the tent.

"Nah, these shorts are pretty comfy. I can just sleep in 'em." Marisa takes one last look at the stars, then deftly slides into her sleeping bag. "Want me to put the light out?"

"Yes, if you wouldn't mind. Just let me get my book light." Alice rummages through her bag, then nods at Marisa. With the tent's little lantern out, Alice's face, and not much else, is illuminated by the bluish fluorescent light. She looks so intent as she reads, licking her lips as she turns the page, her eyes scanning over the words. Marisa has to remind herself to stop staring. She rolls over, but sleep just won't come, for a long, long time.

It's quiet for a long while, save for Alice turning pages, before Marisa dares to speak up. "So, um, it's been really fun just bein' with you, but... why didn't you want your mom to come? Just outta curiosity."

"You really are like a cat." Alice puts down her book. "It'll kill you one day."

"I just wanna know," Marisa insists.

Alice gives a heavy sigh, rolling over to face Marisa. In the weak light, she looks tired. "Would you want to go camping with your mother?"

"Uh, yeah," Marisa says, which is true.

Alice's eyes turn down. "I don't know. It's just... Shinki has been less of a parent than someone who tries too hard to be my friend. I figured out when I was younger that she was never really going to be my mother except on my adoption papers, so I just... I grew up on my own."

"Oh," Marisa says, with a soft sincerity she hasn't felt for another person in years.

"I'm sorry," Alice says, shaking her head as if to clear her words away.

"No, no, it's okay, you can tell me stuff if you want."

Alice sighs again. "I didn't want her to come because I don't... get a lot of alone time. Shinki is always checking up on me. Unless I'm with you."

"Huh, usually I have the opposite effect on parents."

"Stealing from the Scarlets is a good way to never be invited back, yes." Alice smiles a little. "But it's strange. When you're here... I can just be myself, without having to worry about my mother. And it took a long time to figure out."

"To figure out that the Shinks would leave you alone?"

"No... No, who I am. And I quite like it."

"Heh, that's really good then! Glad you like being with me. Sometimes I think ya don't."

"No, no, I do," Alice says quickly.

"I like being with _you_ ," Marisa teases.

"Oh, shut up," Alice says, but she's blushing.

 

"Hey, Marisa?" Alice asks, once she's turned out her book light, and everything is quiet and still aside from the crickets outside their tent.

"Mmm?"

"Can I tell you something? Don't laugh."

"You're not gonna say you're, like, a brony or something, right?"

" _Marisa_."

"Yeah, got it. Won't laugh."

Alice takes a deep breath. "Okay. Um. I've really, really liked you. For a long time."

Marisa's chest feels funny, constricting and tense but also as if it's about to burst. "Whoa. God. I thought you didn't - that's... Holy shit, how long?"

Alice stares very intently at something on the ground. "I think I realized it about four months ago, but..."

"Yeah, I get it." Marisa pauses, trying to collect all her racing thoughts. "Y'know, I've always thought you were really cute," she blurts.

"Really?" Alice asks, the near lack of light inside the tent doing nothing to cover the blush spreading across her face.

"Really. Like, super hella cute. I guess what I'm trying to say is, uh," Marisa laughs nervously. "I really like you too."

"Really?" Alice asks again, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Do I gotta say everything twice?" Marisa says. Before she can think, she leans in close and kisses Alice on the cheek. Alice's skin is so soft, and burning hot.

"Oh," is all Alice can say, giggling despite herself.

"Dammit. Meant to get your lips."

" _Honestly_ ," Alice says, and in a second Marisa feels Alice's hands cup the sides of her face, and then Alice's warm lips are there, fitting perfectly against hers.

"So, um... Girlfriends?" Marisa asks when they finally part after a long moment. She reaches out to hold both of Alice's hands for dramatic effect.

"Yes," Alice says. "God. Yes." And when she kisses Marisa's lips again, they're both smiling.

 

Neither of them can sleep, too charged with excitement. They tell each other little stories, interspersed with kisses and smiles. Alice turns the lantern back on so that they can see each other's faces, see each other practically glowing with happiness. Marisa is absently stroking Alice's hair, eyes half closed, when she hears it. There's a rustling, right outside the tent. It has to be bigger than a human, from the way it sounds.

"What was that?" Alice asks, so softly it's barely a whisper. Marisa doesn't answer, just sits up and slowly, slowly opens the front flap of the tent. It takes a bit for her eyes to adjust to the moonlight, but as she squints, she can kind of make out a...

"Alice, holy _shit_."

"What is it?" Alice pleads.

Marisa looks back, eyes wide in disbelief. "It's a bear."

Alice scrambles, moving to peek out of the flap. Marisa cranes her head to be able to see too.

"Oh, my god," Alice breathes.

"What do we do?" Marisa whispers back. "Like, should we play dead, or fight 'im, or what?"

"I don't know."

The bear turns to look at the source of the noise, staring directly at Alice and Marisa.

" _Fuck_ ," Alice says, and that's how Marisa knows it's bad. "Let's, um, just stay in here for now, or something, oh, I don't know..." Her voice steadily but quickly increases in pitch when she's worried, which Marisa would find funny any other time but now. "Maybe we should get those ladies from the other campsite? It seemed like they know what they're doing out here."

"Yeah, the tall one's probably wrestled her fair share of wildlife."

"I'm serious," Alice hisses.

"Alice, c'mon, calm down. I'll get the bear to go away, just watch me." She slides out of the tent and stands up. "Everybody knows to get a bear to go away you gotta make a lot of noise!"

"I think we need to call emergency services," Alice whimpers, sounding like she's about to faint.

 The bear seems to be pawing through something. Something placed suspiciously close to where they left the cooler for the night. "Ohhh," Marisa says out loud. "Oh, I get it."

"It's in the cooler," Alice says, obviously fretting. "Oh my god, Marisa, it's because you left all the food out!"

" _I_ left the food out? I'm pretty sure you were the one who – hey, you want our food? Take it! Alice won't eat the goddamn hot dogs anyway!" Marisa yells.

"Have you lost your _mind_?" Alice nearly screams. "You're going to get mauled! Marisa!"

Marisa picks up a rock from near her feet and throws it as hard as she can across the clearing. "Get outta here!" The bear watches, but doesn't move, standing there next to the open cooler.

"Alice, get out here."

"No!"

"You're taller, you gotta come here!"

"And I don't want to die!"

Marisa grumbles loudly, waving her hands over her head. "Listen, shitface, get away from my girlfriend! Yeah, you! Go on, get out! _Yeeeaaaaah_ ," she cheers as the bear straightens itself out and moves away from the cooler. "Yeah, you fucker!" She lets out another whoop of joy for good measure, and keeps hollering nonsense until she's sure the bear is gone, returned somewhere into the woods.

Alice breathes out a loud sigh of relief when Marisa crawls back inside the tent and collapses into her arms. Marisa can feel how fast Alice's heart is beating. Maybe it's her own, too. "Wow," she cracks. "That was... unbearable."

Alice shakes her head and moans in disgust at Marisa's bad joke. "I can't... _believe_... there are _bears_ in a place where people camp," she eventually manages, still clearly shaken.

"Hey. Not many people can say they got attacked by a bear on their first date."

"That's not a pro, Marisa."

"So this is a date?"

" _Marisa_."

"Was it a date all along? God, Alice, taking me all the way out here just to seduce me."

Alice snorts, holding Marisa tightly. "I'm just glad we're okay," she says, resting her head on Marisa's shoulder.

"Yeah," Marisa says. "Yeah, me too."

Alice won't stop hugging Marisa close to her all night, even in her sleep. That's fine with Marisa. At the very least, she thinks, this is certainly one way to start a relationship. As she's lying there curled into Alice, her _girlfriend_ , finally, at long last, she can't help but smile. Even if they just got attacked by a bear. At least they're together. This time tomorrow Marisa will be in her own bed, probably, and this entire experience will all seem like a distant, strange dream. Except for the whole girlfriend thing. Marisa smiles. She'd fight a hundred bears for Alice, hands on. It'd be too sappy to say, but she hopes Alice knows.

She presses a little kiss right between Alice's eyes before she drifts off to sleep.


End file.
